WD-40 Was Invented To Stop Missiles From Rusting I’m pretty sure that there isn’t a Jalopnik reader out there who doesn’t have a can of WD-40 kicking around their house or garage somewhere. While using this wonder liquid to loosen a seized bolt, stop a door from squeaking or cleaning tree sap from your hood, have you ever stopped to wonder where it actually came… Read more…

Retirement Was Not Invented For Old People submitted by /u/Arumdaum

Today’s Teenagers Have Invented a Language That Captures the World Perfectly Our kids’ lingo is not only better than any we used, it’s a useful window into the way they see the world.

Retirement Was Not Invented For Old People submitted by /u/djme13

I Am the Lord Your God, and I Want You to Know That I Invented Boners Hear ye, My disciples, for I speak upon you a great truth: It has come to My understanding that many of you who would love Me do not understand My true and fearsome nature. And so I say to you thusly: I, your God, the one true God, invented boners. Verily, I speak it unto you. Every great big massive hard-on to the tiniest little tinge of hornin…

We Are Thrilled to Announce We Have Invented Portals, but Are Saddened to Reveal They Suck We, the computer scientists and engineers of this nation, are pleased to announce that we have invented actual, real-life portals. However, we are saddened to announce that they are fucking horrible. We’ve built hundreds of variations of these things, and we promise none are cool. Rent-payment portals, student portals, health insurance portals—j…