#election

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner

( www.mcsweeneys.net )

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner It’s come to this: the 2024 presidential election is a toss-up. Fifty-fifty. All the polls say this could go either way. This isn’t how I saw this playing out in July. After Biden dropped out, my victory was all but assured. But you can’t count a historically unpopular moron like Donald Trump out. With his crackpot team of dimwitted transphobes,…

McSweenys 873 2024-11-01

Politely Asking the Spirit Haunting My House to Wait Until After the Election to Terrorize Me

( www.mcsweeneys.net )

Politely Asking the Spirit Haunting My House to Wait Until After the Election to Terrorize Me Listen, I get it. You’ve been lurking in this creaky old house for centuries. It’s your time to shine—Halloween is your Super Bowl. But could we maybe hold off on the supernatural terror until after the election? I’m barely keeping it together. You’ve been doing a stellar job with the whole “creepy footsteps in the hallway” routine and the blood…

McSweenys 1.0k 2024-10-30