Help, I’m in a hole (because I’m an idiot) I can’t see out of.

Help, I'm in a hole (because I'm an idiot) I can't see out of. So, I lost my spouse in a car accident in 2016. At the time we had a household income of $200k. I received a large payout and paid off my home in 2017, as well as made some improvements, and invested the majority of it. I now have 342k in IRA's and investments, which I leaned on heavily at first, but am now deathly afraid to touch due to retirem...

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